Before I tell you about a recent attempt that bombed, I'll start with successes. I played bongos for a small music event for the first time in November. It was ok enough. I acted like this was normal and went for it. Then I played drums for the first time in public for another small music event with a forgiving audience. Not terrible. Kept mostly in time and even threw in a few fills. My dignity remained in tact.
The fail happened when I asked my daughter's group fiddle teacher if I could try the djembe as class accompaniment. She already has a guitarist. No problem, she said. I told her, and she the guitarist, that I was pretty new to this and the damage was done. The guitarist was openly skeptical even before I began. He and his daughter, a fiddler, looked at me during the class and exchanged glances. Afterwards I asked the teacher and guitarist for feedback. No issues, said the teacher. So I wasn't annoying or overtly bad. Then to the guitarist with his highly doubtful expression. "You won't be able to keep up later with the faster songs and complex rhythms..blah, blah, blah....". His vote sunk me. The fiddle teacher later agreed with me later that he'd decided against me before I began because he's a "professional" and knew I was not.
I was miffed. I recovered. I pondered how to recycle this into something useful and non toxic. What did I learn, I asked myself?
1. Don't dismiss newbies without an objective chance. Even two or three.
2. Perfectionists can be jerks for their own art. Keep your standard but be kind. Try flexibility.
3. Don't lie but try to find at least one encouraging thing to say to a newbie about their effort.
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